On My Mind...

So yesterday I woke up and was like, "Life sure has been smooth lately." Oh my word, mistake number one! I should have known better than to think such a thing, because, most certainly, what happens? We usually eat those words with a big, fat spoon! I wouldn't necessarily say that I had to eat them in the worst of ways, but God sure did deal with my heart. I was feeling pretty prideful, I have to admit. I have kind of had the mindset that I am finally at a place that I want to be. I really don't care what anyone else does anymore. I feel pretty much at ease with all I have on my plate right now - no more of that feeling that I should be doing more because that is what everyone expects of me. I don't care about not being included on everything, which if you've read my blog long enough, I really struggle with feeling left out. I also have felt like I've finally been the wife and mom I had lost a while back. I was just feeling all nice and proud of myself. Well, that was until yesterday...

Jeff has been preaching messages the past few weeks on our Passions. The series has been great, and really, if I had to pick, last week's message was my favorite, but it was this week's message that got me shaking...well, jumping....out of my comfort zone. It was one of those times that before I went in the doors of our church yesterday that I was already feeling that God was trying to get my attention. He was calmly whispering to me, "Don't get comfortable." I didn't realize the full impact of the words until Jeff's message yesterday. He preached on the Passions of the Church. In a nutshell, it dealt with our expectations. For those of you who read this that may not know me personally, I am generally a person with high expectations. I can't stand being around people, even, that can't dream big, or see past their nice little boxes to live in comfortably. I am a dreamer. My dreams rarely disappoint either. I dreamed of a godly man to marry. God answered. I dreamed of being a mother. God SURE did answer (four girls!!). I dreamed of leading women to love their husbands, families, themselves, etc. God has answered time and time again. And THAT, right there, is where I feel him tugging to answer me again. It's time to up the ante. It's time to kick it up a notch. I have not lowered my expectations for this area of ministry, but they have just remained like this --------------------------- consistent. I do NOT want to be consistent here. I want to see women's lives changed and marriages/homes walk in victory. God has called me to do that. To talk about it here seems so serious, but really the journey is loaded with fun and fellowship. It is true, though, it is loaded with a lot of deep stuff, too. That is where the last part of Jeff's message comes in. We, the Church, should be a place of Healing. We need to be restoring lives, looking past the junk itself, to the possibility of deliverance. We need to stop talking about what people are doing, or NOT doing, and begin to wrap a arm around them and hold them up. I have these expectations, people, but I, like you, am content to remain stagnant and unmoving. Well, not today. Today I choose to live in the possibilities that this day, and the days after, will be mindblowing...lifechanging! I don't even like to be all serious here on my blog, but I will not remain shallow here, either. God deals with me all the time and I don't tell a soul, thus leaving God and me the only ones in the know. Well, now you know. Know you can extend a hand of accountability to me. Know you can pray for BIG things to happen in my life, as I pray happen in yours. God doesn't want us walking to the same Ho-hum drum. He wants us "jumping, leaping and praising Him." He wants us dancing the dance of our lives today! Which music are you going to choose?

Am I the Only One Disturbed by This?

(The Interactive Jesus Doll)

AND, to top it off, it's sold at my local grocery store! I don't know, maybe it's just me...

A Blogging Slump

I'm in a complete blogging slump. All day long I think of things to share with you, my little blogger friends, but then I get to the computer and I'm like, "what was it I was going to share?" It's either a slump, or I'm old. Can you guess which excuse I'm going with?

Life has been plenty eventful around here. It really has, but when I lie my head down on the pillow each night, I have no clue what I did during the day, thus, my blogging slump. I know that each day I get up, brew some coffee, make lunches for lunchboxes and then I do my Wii Fit. Oh, the bonus this week is, for the first time in my entire life, I've joined the gym. I've enjoyed it so far. Yesterday I couldn't move...literally. I was hurting in my legs and feet so bad that I contemplated crawling everywhere. For the most part, though, I like going. The one thing I really struggle with is not getting distracted by the fact that yesterday, for example, was every skinny girl in my town day! Really, they were all skinny, and I, who in all actuality wore rather tight pants proudly yesterday, found myself suddenly re-thinking my decision. A girl can dream, right, but then again, a girl can be delusional, too! I fear I fell into the latter category. I mean, why did they come if they are that skinny? It baffled me. I'm not quite at the "let it give you hope that you, too, can look like that" stage yet. I just wanted to crawl up into a ball and roll right off that treadmill, but I had tight pants on, and somehow the sight of my rear end up in the air scared me more...needless to say what it would've done to the patrons at my gym.

So, let's move to another note...a happier note. I've been watching a LOT of TV lately, and if you let your mind dwell on that, you'll find yourself right back at the previous paragraph and my need to GO to the gym. I can't help myself. It was, after all, The Biggest Loser, that inspired me to join the gym (and to buy the tight pants), but I love American Idol, The Bachelor (don't tell my mom) and LOST. I simple do NOT blink when LOST is on. I cannot miss anything. If you never watched it from the beginning, I highly doubt you find it as rivoting as I do, but I tell ya...it is amazing television! I enjoy my nights in front of the TV, though. Jeff and I just chill out and enjoy that time together after the girls go to bed, and while I know he could do without the TV, he indulges my interests.

I have also been doing a lot of catching up with friends lately. It's amazing how many people I have found on Facebook that I grew up with, or met along the way. I am going to write a whole separate post about Facebook one day, or better yet, I may even write a book about it. It is a whole other world, I tell ya! But, if you don't want everyone all "up in your business," Facebook is not your thing. I love it, though, and because of it, I have been able to correspond with my college roomies a lot lately. My roommate met me for lunch last week and I finally got to give her...ahem...14 month old her baby gift! I know...tacky of me! We had a great time, though, and our next outing is to get together with our whole suite. I'm expecting a lot of laughter and reliving "the good old days." We had so much fun!


We've got big plans this weekend. Our baby girl turns 2! I cannot believe it. Time is flying. I will write more about that later, though.

Hey, well lookie there! I wrote a blog. If you stuck it out to the end, you ARE a true friend. If you did, pass it along to 10 other people and you'll receive blessings by the end of the day if you do it before 5:48pm. I know...don't you just hate those things? Naw...just relish in the fact that you might have been one of the few to make it to the end, and if you really read it all, maybe, just maybe you'll tune in again!

I'll Be LOST Tonight

This is how I'll be spending my evening tonight, so if you call my house and I don't answer from 9pm-11pm, you'll know where I'll be...

A Long Weekend

Thankfully, it is a long weekend here in our school district, but as Hickman tradition would have it, we have sickness in the home anytime we have a break from school! I am grateful, yes, that we don't have it while school is in session, but still... Avery has strep throat. Apparently it's running rampant around her school, so six people in the house here, two of whom have no tonsils and rarely get sore throats, but three of whom are susceptible, and let's just pray it's not the man in the house who has the largest tonsils in the known world!

So, you can imagine our day today has not been too thrilling, other than a trip to the doctor where Little Lovey, aka Quinn Olivia, decides to act like a two year old and have me chase her all over the medical center! She cackled. I ran out of breath! Anyhow, we got a diagnosis for Avery, and now we know what to do.

Typically, today or tomorrow or Date Nights for Jeff and me, and we were going tonight, but unfortunately, our babysitter had an emergency. We'll reschedule, though. It has always been a priority to go every other week for us, but we're attempting a weekly date by putting it in our new budget. We love our time together and love trying out new restaurants together and ending every date at, yep...Starbucks!

I've been sitting here dying laughing at Quinn. She has been really talking lately, and has I have mentioned before on here, she learned to say Avery's name first. We tell everyone that she learned Avery's name first because she hears it the most, and yes, it's true. In turn, after all this time of saying Avery's name insesantly, she has taken to blaming everything on Avery, too. In just the few minutes I have been sitting here typing, she has come in here and told me, "Avery hit me...Avery hit me...Avery hit me," OR very similarly, "Avery hurt me...Avery hurt me...Avery hurt me." She grins from ear to ear each time she says it, so you know that she has made the whole thing up, cause this Mommy who knows where her children are at all times (hint of sarcasm) happens to know that Avery is lying doing on the couch!

So, any ideas on what we can do while we are cooped up indoors tomorrow? Not going out while Avery is sick, of course, but it's going to be 31 degrees here tomorrow! Give me an idea!

Hope you have a great Friday.

Random thoughts

Here's what's on my mind and heart today...
This Night.....
Tonight is something that I have planned for and prayed for since several months ago. Our Aroma women's ministry at LifeSong is hosting "This Night...A Night of New Beginnings." This Night is something that God gave me a vision for a little over a year ago. Although the idea is something that many churches do, it's the focus that I desired be different from what I've experienced in the past. The idea is to have hostesses decorate their tables according to a provided color scheme and according to their personalities, and to sell tickets to women in our community to attend. The encouragement from me, however, has been to let God challenge you to buy your table's tickets and hand out tickets for women to come, making it much more doable in getting people to attend. If they have a free ticket, they feel ministered to by receiving a gift, and they come in and are ministered to. In the past I've participated in this in different churches, but the outreach part of it never felt like it clicked. I never felt that we were reaching anyone but ourselves, so the idea of This Night...A Night..... you fill in the blanks, was birthed. Our first one was a Night to Reach the Nations and our second one was a Night to Reach the Community. Tonight's idea came from where each of us finds ourselves right now - in a new year of new beginnings. Our speaker's life changing experience exemplifies this to a tee. The added thought behind This Night has been that we come face to face with our Father in corporate worship, rather than having someone stand before us and sing. If you have ever attended a women's conference before and come back and say you needed that kind of corporate worship, that is kind of what I'm talking about here. The bursting of my heart always comes when I look around that room and I don't know a soul! I love it. I know my hostesses, but the people that are sitting at their tables are women that they are having a direct influence on, and on whom LifeSong is getting to say, "We exist for you!" I am beyond excited about what God has intended for His glory tonight. This Night is saying, "here's your opportunity to evoke change on a big level, but let it prompt you to do this every single day!" I can't wait!!!

Paying it forward....
We all have heard the phrase, "pay it forward." It is really what LifeSong was founded on by saying, "be missionaries where you live, work and play." Jeff and I had the opportunity to be on the receiving end of this on Friday. We went to the mall to spend some giftcards and decided to eat at Garfield's in the mall. Let me stop here and say that I really do not like Garfield's a whole lot. I think I could make their food at home and it is way over priced. It had a sit down atmosphere away from the noise of the mall, so that made our decision to eat there. We enjoyed some time together and with Quinn, and really our lunch was great. We were getting ready to pack Quinn's food up to take with us when the waitress came over and told us that a gentleman sitting on the other side of the wall divider from us knew us and had paid for our meal! What?!!! We asked who it was and the waitress said she had not asked his name, but that he had a mustache. Ok, yeah, well, that really narrowed it down! We were really touched. Jeff and I will randomly pay for people's meals when we are out, or pay for their coffee in the drive thru at Starbucks, but I can't say that we've ever been on the receiving end of someone doing that for us anonymously. We were beyond touched by this. It encouraged our hearts so much. It's one of those times that being on the receiving end just heightens the notion behind the reasons you yourself do what you do. Giving is much easier for us than receiving. Now don't go thinking I don't love a good present, 'cause I do! I'm just saying, we're so focused on that most of the time, that receiving just almost seems weird! To whomever bought our meal for us, if you are reading this, "may you be blessed a hundred fold for how you blessed us!"

Upward...
Bailey and Avery participated in their first Upward cheerleading experience. They were awesome! I am so proud of them. We've been to Upward games before, but to be able to be in the atmosphere with your children participating was really special. I will post some pics soon of our day together.

Wii Fit...
So far, I've accomplised a full week of doing Wii Fit. It's been awesome, really. We missed getting the deal at the gym we were joining, so we are holding off a little bit until it comes back, so in the meantime, the Wii has taken off three pounds and I'm cool with that. I want to be on this journey of 2009 being about me. I want my kids to see their mom giving it her all in every area.....
Purple Book...so I've started this book to focus on the everyday with Jesus. Let me tell ya...my quiet time has really been less than existent here lately. I need structure. I need simple. This book is being used in our LifeGroups, so it has provided me with both. It has challenged me and made me rethink a lot of what I do, think and believe. It's been great!

Family...
Jeff and I are learning daily to be intentional in our marriage. God has blessed us, yes, but it's hard work to walk life together. We love the challenge of getting to know each other more and more each day. This time continues to be the sweetest time we've known to date!
McKenna is just encouraging my heart so much lately. She is a ten year old that just desires to serve God with all of her heart. She told me yesterday that she loves going with her Daddy early on Sunday mornings to help set up things at LifeSong because she just wants to serve people. We don't make her get up or tell her she HAS to do this. She sets her clock every Saturday night and is ready to go out the door before Jeff is. I see God using this in her life to place her focus on others, rather than herself.
Bailey, as noted before, is doing great in Upward. She looks forward to going to practices and always comes back saying she is looking for the new, special friend. She is working on making her bedroom a girly place to hang out and last night she helped make a really yummy dinner.
Avery is busy with some responsibilities we have given her. She initiated things by asking if she could take over unloading the dishwasher, so this prompted Jeff and I to do job charts for each of the girls. They do jobs all throughout the summer, but generally don't do a lot during the school year. They had been begging for allowance, so they get $3 a week for four jobs and consistently doing their homework when they get home, without being told. For every job they do not complete, or have to be consistently reminded to do, we deduct 50 cents from their week end's pay. They are doing a great job, and although we are working through some issues, once again, I love teaching my children to serve. And hey, I'm human, lightening my workload ain't half bad either! :)
Quinn is talking up a storm! She is hilarious and loves everyone! She now has big girl panties for us to begin an intense week of potty training this week. Pray for me. I never had to potty train the girls after McKenna was potty trained. They just always wanted to be like her. Quinn is doing the same, to some extent, but I still need to spend some one on one time with her. This is why I don't like dogs in the house! You get it, right? I dread cleaning up accidents! :)

So, enough random from me for one day. Pray for me, if you think about it. The word "focus" comes to mind!

Welcome to 2009!

I've had a little bit of a blogging break. I think about blogging constantly, but some ideas pan out, and well...others don't! So, suffice it to say, I just didn't blog about good or bad ideas. Not a great way to say, "Welcome 2009," huh?

I have turned into one of those people that makes New Year's resolutions. I have always scoffed at the whole idea because I like to think I know myself so well and I know that I'm not incredibly disciplined, so why depress myself by not following through, right? Wrong! I had a talk with Jeff yesterday and bore my soul to him (a great benefit to being married to a pastor :) ). He had preached one of the best messages I had heard him preach, and people, they are always good. This one, however, particularly challenged me and got me to thinking about my motivation, who I've become, who I want to be...you know, the deep stuff in life.
Even typing that is a little daunting to me because I love to laugh, keep it light and not so serious here at Hickman Happenings, but really, readers, anyone who says they don't do deep, or drama, wake up! The ones of you who say that (me included) are the most dramatic of all. Pause now and take a look at yourself in the mirror! Aaaaaah!!!! You are Drama Queen/King! So, that out of the way...I embraced my drama side yesterday and realized that drama is exactly what happens in our lives when we get sidetracked from our focus. I think you know me well enough by now to know I want my focus to be Jesus. I really am just now beginning to understand just what that means for my life. It is life without judgement, legalism, and pleasing people. Those are just a few examples that have kind of encompassed my life up to this point. Some I have brought on myself, and others somewhat indirectly forced on me through various situations, but nonetheless, I let these things take over to some degree. The thing is, though, I don't always feel that entangled by them, but they are like a toxic part of me that, frankly, I'm just ready to rid myself of. You might be reading and thinking, "Ummm...Amy's New Year's resolution must be to bare her soul!" Well, yeah, sorta! I have always called it like I see it, or I try to, but I don't always say it OUTLOUD when it comes to ME! That part hurts too much, so let's just say I'd like to get over that, and if it requires a little drama to go there, well, then, that's just where we'll have to go. Really, not allowing the drama to come in our lives is way more detrimental to us than dealing with it and being thankful for it. It's the drama that gives us life experiences most of the time. It affects us. It changes us. I want to be changed. I want my Jesus to change me.

So, drumroll please...I've made New Year's resolutions! My, in a nutshell, resolution is to stop trying to live my life! ! I want to live my life, people, but I need Jesus to live it in me, and stop trying to take control over everything. This is not really a New Year's thought. This is an everyday thought. I'm just thankful that a New Year rolled around to give me a good, old fashioned kick in the pants to set me back on track.
Oh, I've got plenty of things I see as goals for myself and things I want to do this year. I, like every other person in society, wants to lose weight. But, it's the discipline I crave to have the sticktoitness to prevail. I want to spend more time with friends. This is not something that I feel I fail at. I really do enjoy great time with friends, but I want more! I want to make more friends and surround myself with people that spur me on and love me for me! You might not understand why I would type that last sentence, but that's where the pleasing people side of me comes in. Often, as a pastor's wife, I feel people get close to me because of what they can get out of it, but I need people that just want to know me for me, and not what I can do for them. So, I want to get to know you and hang out with you if that's you! I also want to be a better manager of my home. I feel deeply that God has given me certain responsibilities to ensure that my home life is the best it can be. That goes from teaching my children how to be the best they can be, to supporting my husband the best I know how, to creating a pleasant home environment, planning meals and not eating out so much, saving the most money I can (sidenote...I'm thankful that my husband sees fit to trust me to do that and I fail a lot at it, but he lets me learn to be my best at this), having lots of fun in our home, instilling God's word in the hearts of my girls, and using my home - no matter if it's clean or beautifully decorated - to welcome others in. There's so much more I want to do to invest in my home, but I know that will come as I trust God to discipline me. I also want to continue to concentrate on doing just what it is that God has for my life. I know that my greatest source of joy is walking in obedience to Him, so that is my goal for each day. One way I am trying to do this is by commiting to scripture memory this year. My friend, Resia and I are holding each other accountable to this as we participate together in Beth Moore's challenge on her blog to memorize two scriptures on the 1st and 15th of each month. I'm excited about it and encourage you to sign up because I don't think it's ever too late to begin, ya know!

Whew...that's enough deep for one day, don't ya think? I really am just very excited to begin a new year. I secretly love fresh, new beginnings. Maybe it comes from the fact that I've moved more times in my life than I can remember, so starting fresh is something I've come to appreciate. Who knows? I may not be perfect at succeeding in my goals, but if I can gain ground in even one, then I'm thankful because that is one more work God has done in me.

Hope your New Year's has started off like you hoped it would. I'm glad to walk this journey with you...even if I don't know you. If you get a little bit of encouragement along the way from dropping into Hickman Happenings from time to time, then GREAT! We hope you learn to laugh with us, cry with us, steal ideas from other blogs with us, grow older with us, see us fail, see us succeed, and so on and so forth!
Keep up with my scripture memory on the sidebar. Feel free to memorize with me. Check out the previously highlighted link to the scripture memory challenge and go get yourself a notebook and begin today!
Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas!

Pondering

I think that every year there's always something that brings the meaning of Christmas home to me. In years past it's been the traditions in my family. For instance, as a young girl, we would read the Christmas story before we open presents, or even before we would go downstairs to see Santa's loot. It's been the tradition of waiting for my grandparent's to come for Christmas breakfast because it meant spending time with those I loved. Or, the times of tradition of spending Christmas with those we came to love and call family while living in Venezuela -the meals shared of hallacas, pan de jamon or pabellon. These things symbolized Jesus to me because when you stop and see the faces of the people in the memories, they are who He died for.
As the years have progressed some of these traditions have changed. We've tried to make our own with our girls, as well as add to those we already have. Jeff loves to leave all of the Christmas lights on in our house on the night of Christmas Eve. He loves the glow it puts off in the house and having the mood already set for Christmas morning. My sneaking suspicion is that this tradition may live or die this year according to if we are willing to take the risk of our girls waking up at 3 am this year or not. I think it might have been the lights that brought that on last year! :)
We also love going to look at neighborhood lights once school is out for Christmas break. We listen to Christmas music in the car while usually clad in our PJs, and we even end up at Sonic sometimes for an ice cream!
If you ask the girls, you would hear them say that "Sausage balls" are a family tradition. I was told by McKenna that, "if you don't make sausage balls, if just won't be Christmas." Well, OK then! We do have to have them though because word on the street is that Santa prefers sausage balls with his egg nog when he delivers presents to the Hickman home.
Tonight we will carry out the annual tradition of gifting the girls with new Christmas jammies.
They have been asking me all week for them. We began this tradition after we saw ourselves in our Christmas morning pictures years ago. After seeing how rough we looked, we thought new jammies were a yearly must!

There are so many more traditions we have and are making. We have talked a lot about the meaning of the tree this year as Jeff took our church on a series entitled "Trees." As we worshiped together on that same theme in our Christmas presentation, our family shared how the tree has taken on a meaning of sharing life together for us this year. The memories I have of our Pastors and their wives around our tree sharing a meal. The laughter shared around the tree as the girls and I decorated...OK, there was a few tears shed after Avery broke a couple of sentimental ornaments of mine, but nonetheless we enjoyed ourselves so much the day we decorated. Once again, we saw faces familiar and faces anew as we hosted our drop-in this week. As people looked at our tree, I watched them and thanked God for them coming to our home and being part of our lives. The tree could stay up all year as far as I am concerned because maybe, just maybe it has meant more to me this year than in years past. The ornaments it holds from my Nanoo, the most Godly lady I knew, remind me of my most favorite tradition...
You see, I have been pregnant with three of my four girls at Christmas time. I tell you, you cannot be pregnant at Christmas and not cherish the part of the Christmas story that says, "And Mary took all these things and pondered them in her heart," and it not mean something to you. You feel your baby kick and you feel it roll, and you imagine how Mary must have felt to be a mother to someone she could not have known at the time would impact and change the world. I guess I felt the same. The hopes and dreams you have as a mom are that your children would be change agents in a world that Jesus died for. Jesus did not come for us to ever be the same, and I pray that my children would never be the same either.
I sit here and ponder today so many things. Grabbing a day like today and being able to sit back and ponder at all is a rare gift, so while I can, I want it to count. Today, already, I've really noticed Quinn's smile. She lights up a room! Avery's eyes were dancing when she raced into my room this morning to announce, "ONE MORE DAY." McKenna's good morning hug seemed a little bit tighter and a little bit longer. Bailey smiled a beautiful smile when we laughed that she'll be nine in just three days! And Jeff...well, he looked even more handsome and caused my heart to flutter a little more than usual. Most of all, I see Jesus today as the One who loved me so much that He gave me these things to ponder today in a brand new way.

Catching Up!

We have had some very eventful days here lately, and while I haven't really captured everything in pictures, I thought I would share a few of our favorite moments of the last couple of weeks.Avery pulled a front tooth...the Tooth Fairy gave her $5! What???!!!

Our Beautiful Bailey girl! She'll be nine next month!

Quinn is begging her Daddy for coffee..."Pleeeeeeez."

Quinn loved visiting with Mema and Papa.

Couldn't get her to sit still with Papa!
Check out my Papa's hat...He proudly served our country in the Navy in WWII! Thank you, Papa!


Guess what Quinn has taken a fancy to eating! Ugh!