Labels

About two months ago, I took an amazing group of ladies through "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. We used the online discussion questions found on her blog to guide us through the chapters of the book. One particular day, our discussion turned to labeling people - depersonalizing them by giving them a title, rather than a real person identity. It was....ummmm....TOE-STOMPING to say the least. I was mortified (that's the strongest word I can think of right now) over how I depersonalize people over petty things, like how they dress, how they hold their posture, whether they come to church (or don't), education (or lack thereof). I know of another word that turns into depersonalizing another...JUDGMENT. As I studied to teach this particular day, my oldest daughter was telling me how kids at school had been coming up to her - kids she did not even know - and laughed at her and called her a "goody, goody" because she is a Pastor's Kid. Most of the kids I could forgive because they are not in relationship with Christ. I don't expect those walking in darkness to live like they are walking in the LIGHT, but it's the Christ-followers that I admittedly had problem forgiving. I caught myself depersonalizing the children that depersonalized MY child! It was becoming a vicious cycle, really! The Mama bear in me wanted to yank them by the scalp and give 'em a piece of my mind for labeling my child before knowing her! Then, that still, quiet voice pops in and I'm mortified! Mortified that I am depersonalizing people everyday without taking time to get to know them...to really know what they are going through. I wish I could say that I've become a success at seeing everyone for who they are, but I'm not there yet. I still react in my flesh. I still rush through life so fast that I don't take time to really listen.
Admittedly, I've experienced the receiving end of labels often in ministry. I, too, as a pastor's kid received labels..."You should know the right answer...you're the preacher's kid." "You shouldn't let anyone see you do that...you're the preacher's kid." As an adult, I've more than received them. "You shouldn't say what you really think. You're a Pastor's wife." "I can't believe that you listen to Bon Jovi...You're a Pastor's wife." (True statement!) While this bothers me to have my life singled out as though I'm superwoman, a non-human, I'm more disgusted when I see/hear the same things coming out of my life/mouth. So, the statement we've often made so cliché really ought to hold some truth...we've gotta begin to "see people as Jesus sees them." Rather one is in ministry publicly or not, we ALL...and let me say that again...we ALL have a ministry! We all put our church clothes on everyday and influence someone's life. While it's easier to point a finger at a pastor or a pastor's wife and say, "You shouldn't" this or that, pluck the log out of your own eye and see that the same things we say "you should not" to are true of each of our lives. Someone is always watching, always critiquing. Start seeing people how Jesus sees them. After all, "We’re the clay and you’re our potter: All of us are what you made us.Isaiah 64:8 MSG.
None of us have arrived! I remove labels off of cans to send in with my daughters to school for rewards for their class. It's time I, and the rest of us, begin to remove them off the faces and lives of real, life people. It's time to reap the rewards of knowing a person for whom God created them to really be!

My New Year's Resolution...Early!

I'm not a big resolution maker. Half the time, I don't keep them, but sometimes you just need a recharge, and I definitely need one with blogging again. I love writing more than just about anything, but I have simply (yet chaotically) allowed life to take over. Time to take back what I enjoy doing...writing about my family, my life in ministry, sharing recipes and photos of our life.
So, there's no time like the present...

As I look back over the last few years of our life, I've heard myself say, "My heart is so full" so many times. I'm beyond grateful for how God has allowed us to be used and see lives impacted. We have such a great platform in serving LifeSong Church, but it is learning to live and love like Him everyday that excites me the most. It's where life, even in the mundane, not so busy days, is full because His love has become more real to me each day. Life has been full for us, but the moments we have experienced have been as though time has stood still and given us a view of great appreciation.

In a nutshell, life with the Hickman's is full of a whole lot of school, where the girls are doing so well. Mommy has time to herself, even, as the youngest little Hickman is off to preschool. There's a lot of running around, working and playing going on!
We are excited to see our church, LifeSong, experience a great deal of growth over the last year. We have just broken ground for a new building that we pray will continue to be used to greatly impact our community.
We look forward to catching up with you over the holidays, whether it be face to face, virtually or by phone call. Look for us to catch up with you here at our blog, or on Twitter (@AmyCHickman and JeffWHickman)or Facebook.

I Pretty Much Looked the Other Way

**(I shared this post in our monthly Pastor's Wives' Newsletter. I think it's something we all face, so I wanted to share here, too.)

I began my day with a great deal of excitement. School was starting and I was gaining some freedom...some ME time! I still had one child at home, but my day was looking pretty good irregardless. I had plans for pedicures with my girlfriend and a nice lunch later. My day was completely planned out...just the way I like it! For the most part of the morning and early afternoon, I stuck to my plans. I had well-groomed toes with a nice Burgandy polish, and later enjoyed a healthy lunch, and wonderful conversation with my friend. All of it proved to be medicine to my soul...until I left the restaurant and headed home.

As I left the restaurant, I waited in a line of about six cars, where I was about 5th in line. I looked around and noticed a woman about three cars up standing in the grass holding a sign. I could only make out the word

"HOMELESS."

Immediately, my "Yeah, I bet you are" attitude took over - the one where I got taken for a fool more times than I can count when I lived in Venezuela. I mean, we live in the land of opportunity in America and I have never quite been able to rationalize homelessness in this country. I really shut down my heart to the possibility that this could be legitimate. As I inched closer, a different picture took shape. In seconds my world changed. I began to pass by to turn at the stoplight at which I had been waiting, taking me face to face with a woman holding the sign, red-faced, with tears streaming uncontrollably down her face. The sign could have, instead, read

"HUMILIATION."

My heart broke into. I began to cry and ask God what I should do. I had to get to a gas station. I was on empty and had to make it before I ran out. I reached the gas station beside a grocery store and began to ask God if I should go in and buy groceries for this woman. I rationalized my way out of it, though. "How would she get the home?" "Where did she live?" "How did she get to where she stood by the road?" I filled up my car and headed home...leaving a woman by the road without a solution...without relief. All day, her face haunted me. All I could see were her eyes, full of tears, empty of hope. I went though my day, only to wake up the next morning knowing I had to find that lady.

I got two bags of clothes together, put them by the door to load in my car, only to leave them when I went out to run errands...MY agenda only on my mind. And now, the days have gone by and here I sit writing a story with an unhappy ending. I never found the lady.

I never again tried!

I've asked myself a thousand times why I didn't reach out to her. My past would say it was just fear, but I wasn't scared to turn around and go back. I really just didn't have the follow-through. I knew God spoke clearly to go, but I didn't have faith enough to turn around and see where His leading took me. I just didn't have the full picture!

Often times, we don't have the full picture of what it's like to walk the Jesus Way. It calls us to step out on faith. Fear may not be present in our lack of obedience, but our lack of faith to see it to an end may be. Jesus' Way calls us to step out on faith, to take an otherwise stereotypical picture of homelessness in this country and see the individual...see the pain behind the sign.

What my experience has done for me is remind me that each day God has called me to take up my cross and follow Him...follow him out of a planned out day...follow Him to turn my car around and serve...follow Him into danger.

How are you, everyday, walking the Jesus Way? Are you ready to see where His way will take you? Will you step out in faith?

I Like to Go to School

The title is Quinn's words EXACTLY. She tells me over and over how much she likes to go to school. I'm finally, after 12 years of being home with my girls, enjoying a little alone time. Tuesday - Thursday I have three and 1/2 hrs a day to myself. I've been staying busy working out tons, cleaning lots and volunteering at Jeff's office and at the other girls' schools. I miss my girls, but I would be lying if I said I didn't love this time to pursue some other interests. I'm always ready, though, to pick this cutie up from school everyday...

Missing Daddy

When Daddy is away, we miss him like crazy! This week the girls worked on their special sign to welcome him home from his trip to Haiti, where he was gone for 8 days!!!

My Best Friend's Wedding

I am taking part in Kelly's Korner Show Us Your Life posts today w/ very optimistic expectations (read the title if you don't believe me). Today, we are linking up to show off our amazing single friends in hopes that there's a match made in heaven...or here, in blogland! ;)My very dear friend, Amy, is one of the kindest, truest souls I've ever known. I met Amy when we attended boarding school in Venezuela, where my parents were missionaries. Amy traveled to school from Colombia, where her parents were missionaries. From the moment I met her, we hit it off due to her "never meet a stranger" attitude and her infectious laughter! She is truly a person that lives each day to the fullest, and she does it all with a smile!
She loves the Lord with all of her heart, and seeks to follow Him wherever He would have her be. She currently resides in Texas, where she attends seminary, and works full time as a Labor and Delivery nurse. She LOVES her job of bringing new life into the world. She loves kids and all of her nieces and nephews can attest to the fact that Aunt Amy is the coolest!Amy also loves to travel, spends a lot of time outdoors camping and in her new kayak and loves hanging out with her friends as much as possible. She is very close to her family. Amy is very loyal, confident and always has time to listen. She is 37 years old, and would make any man an AMAZING wife! I look forward to the day that God answers her prayer and sends her someone to love her as she deserves! How much fun we're gonna have at her wedding! One thing is for sure...there will be a lot of smiles and laughter!

Reunions

I love that God has blessed me with so many wonderful friends from all over the world. In my day to day life, I'm learning that God has given me a safe haven to lean on and trust in. It has been a hard journey to find that, and I'm so thankful for the peace I've found in having people to trust and who genuinely love me. That desire to have that love and investment in my life was most definitely born out of an amazing background of growing up in a boarding school, where the girls you lived with in the dorm became your sisters and your best friends. I'm so blessed that now, 20 and 25 years later, we still can't go very long without seeing one another. Two years ago we reunited in Dallas. This year, we reunited in Phoenix, Arizona, where my best friend, Lana, lives.We had such a good time spending our days hitting every great restaurant in the city (well, maybe not 'every', but my waistline is saying A LOT of them!), watching movies and looking at old pictures from high school (there was a whole lot of bad hair going on in those pics) and listening to a ton of 80's/90's music so we could relive the "good 'ole days"! I've known Lana since we met in Costa Rica, where our parents were in language school. We both bonded over how much resentment we had for our parents making us move to another country!! ;) I've known Camille since our parents served in Caracas, Venezuela together, and I've known Amy since my first visit to our boarding school, Christiansen Academy. She was the first person I met there, and later ended up being a roommate there numerous semesters. Lastly, my sister, Missy, and I shared most of our friends growing up, so of course she joined me for the trip!

Here's some great highlights of our time together....
Our day trip to Sedona

A Chapel in Sedona

Lana and Amy

Camille and Missy

Missy and Me

All of us

Lana and me
Amy and Amy!