Waiting

When I was away in Texas, I obviously had the time of my life, but God also took me aside and spoke to my heart about a lot of things. Some things He talked to me about brought me clarity, and others caused me some frustration because they were things I didn't want to hear. Most of the things He dealt with me about are personal, but one thing He continued to overwhelmingly speak to me about is the "life is but a vapor" thing. This stemmed from the current sermon series our church is taking part in,"One Month to Live." You can conclude that this book is posing a big question to us, "how would you live your life differently if you knew you had one month left to live?" I honestly think about this everyday. "Would I have just spoken to my husband the way I did?" "Would I spend my time that way?" " Would I miss that opportunity to hug my girls?" The questions go on and on, and then LIFE comes in and causes me to dwell on it a little more. Just yesterday, a very dear family member of mine got some ugly news...the kind of news you remember the time on the clock when it was delivered...the kind of news that alters your plan...the kind of news that causes you to re-evaluate things. So, here I am once again asking myself, "how would I live differently if I had one month to live?" I can tell you what I know so far...I am spending more time telling my family that I love them, more time with my friends hanging out, even emailing, and more time really soul searching my obedience to God - what He's really been asking me to do. Even in a thought process of more consciously thinking about my life choices, there is waiting. I wait to hear from God on each aspect of my life. I wait to hear the next thing He has in store for me...today, next week, next year. I wait for relationships that matter. I wait to see even greater depth in my marriage, and let me tell ya...right now, I LOVE my marriage. It is a filling of my heart right now that no words will describe. I wait to take things to a new level with my girls. And so, the thing that overwhelmingly I know now is while I'm waiting I will serve Him because I want to obey Him, to love Him, to know him more and more each day. I love looking at the waiting this way...that it can actually be a sweet, sweet time. I read something today that talked about how we are all waiting for something...for a new relationship, a proposal, a marriage, a baby, a word from a doctor, a cure, a word of encouragement. The challenge is how we'll live while we are waiting. Listen to this song and watch the video that goes along.(Pause my playlist to the right before you watch video). Today, while I'm waiting, I'll be praying for a cousin I love dearly...I'll be telling the man of my dreams I love him until he's heard it more times than he can count...and I'll be hugging my sweet girls a little tighter today so they don't have to wonder if they feel loved today or not - they'll know!