Be

"Be today who you want to be tomorrow" were the words I started off my day reading. For a procrastinator, with very good intentions, these words penetrated my heart and brought me challenge, but more so, relief! When you live with the mindset a lot of the time that, "Tomorrow, I'll get it right," you sell yourself short on living each day to the fullest, so that tomorrow will just become "More of the same, please!" In these last few months, I have felt that I am realizing more and more what this means. For me, it's meant to finally stop doing what others expect, but do what God has created me to do. He's made me like I am. You have to come to terms that not all will like you, or give you the benefit of the doubt in this life. Thing is, I really don't like everyone either. (Thanks to a new friend for making this a little clearer for me on a cold December day in a Starbucks!) Personalities and paths are different for us. I may not be on the same road you're on at the moment, or you may have a less than "go get 'em" personality that is different from me. Either way, I gotta be me! This scares me a bit. It scares me because, typically, God has to put me in front of people to be bold most of the time, which often gives others the false illusion that I crave attention and want to be the focus. Here's a little secret...

"I hate it!"

I cannot stand to be the one that has to be in front of others, to have my life looked at because my husband is a pastor and well...your life is GONNA be looked at whether you like it or not, to sometimes have God ask you to say the unpopular thing in order to lead people to something, or Someone, greater. I may over think this from time to time, but coming to terms that God has called me to a life of not doing what is popular most of the time, will make me the woman of God I desire to be tomorrow. I kick, scream, cry a lot of the time back at God because I get trapped in the, "But I just want to be like others" trap. I focus too much in desiring to be liked by others, and waste countless hours trying to determine just why is it that some don't like me. Truth is, deep down, I probably don't care. I must become all that God wants me to be....not what others want me to be. The last Bible study I did rocked my world about this. I really believe that most of the time you don't like me, or I don't like you (figuratively speaking) is because we have no clue what is going on in each other's lives. We don't know where each other is coming from (birthplace, path, trials, victories) - what you are currently facing in life. I look back to some of the most hurtful times in my life and remember some nasty things I have said to people just because I was hurting. That's life, and it happens, and it is what we leave others with in impression of us. That's not wrong. It happens. Even in the midst of being nasty sometimes, we can still "Be today what (we) want to be tomorrow." God's given us each a path to grow from and gain experience from. It's, again, a relief! For me, it's embracing the knowing - the knowing that God has a plan for my life.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."(Jeremiah 29:11, The Message)

That verse gives me hope that when I give up control, I become free to be what God has intended me to be all along. I hope that you are encouraged today to stop putting off what God may be asking of you, which is just to embrace the woman, or man, that He wanted you to be all along. He doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't make us all the same. He does, however, make all things beautiful in His time.